Cancer Again?!!

   I found another lump on Tuesday Nov. 15, 2011. It was a bit of an accident. I was actually keeping an eye on a mole under my breast. When I looked in the mirror I could see a small limp where I was lifting up. 
     I had just gotten a mammogram about a month ago and I had been given a clean bill of health. I was so happy to think I was cancer free. I had also had the surgeon at UCLA take a wider margin out for the last cancer removal in June 2011. The results of that pathology report were all clear. I was so happy with the good news that I had cried for twenty minutes non stop. I was like an extreme weight had been lifted off me
     Here I am six months later looking at the same issue all over again. I took the news well at first. After all, I have been though this three times already. In the past two days this strong woman has now crumbled, become amazingly angry, cried, and questioned why this is happening AGAIN so many times, that I'm not even sure I recognize myself. Even in the midst of crying and asking why I know that there will never be an answer good enough. Life happens.
     I was reading the Bible today and found myself in the book of Ecclesiastes. In chapter 7 verse 14 Solomon says, "Enjoy prosperity whenever you can, and when hard times strike, realize that God gives one as well as the other--so that everyone will realize that nothing is certain in this life." Then in verse 18; "Tackle every task that come along and if you fear God you can expect his blessing."
     Well here I go tackling my task. Fighting that nasty cancer bug yet again. Am I sick and tired of fighting? You bet I am! Have I given up on God? No way! Is God still the God of the universe? Yes he is! 
     At the end of the day I did my crying and my barely making it through the day. I didn't stand up straight when I walked but I did manage to stand up. Tomorrow is another day. My desire is to walk not crawl, to stand not lay down, and to thank God for all the blessing in my life. I didn't get this far on my own. With God's help I continue one step at a time down the path He has chosen for me be it long or short.